Open season? - Spear's Magazine

Open season?

People know I don’t really like going to most things, so the season is definitely on.

So the season has definitely opened. Perhaps a little more muted than usual but opened it is. I know it is because even I have gotten invitations to Queens, to a First Communion (read housewarming party), to a shoot in December and to a 50th Birthday dinner party all in the same week.

And people know I don’t really like going to most things, so the season is definitely on.

But it does feel as if the hosts are a bit like satellite TV, struggling for quality ‘content’ otherwise known as guests. I guess with so many fewer hedgies and bankers around, or at least palatable ones, one has to somehow fill the gaps.

Which makes me wonder how the charity Ark fared this year, or is it how Arki fared at his charity? Maybe it was a little bit of both. I even got invited to that, imagine. Seemingly bums on seats to fill the gaps needed there, but thankfully it was on the same night as the birthday party.

A friend of mine was telling me of three hedgies who were all going to Ark until after much induced introspection, they concluded that having lost loads of money for investors last year, perhaps being seen to publicly throw money around even for charity may not be the best idea.

Having belatedly cancelled, to their great credit (pardon the pun) I am told they anonymously sent their planned contributions anyway. Which, at least in my book, is what charity is supposed to be about, giving money to good causes to help them, not to be seen to be doing so.

I mean, how many times have we read the stories of the biggest donors to the ‘poshest tickets to society’ charities turning out to be crooks or scammers? Maybe some clever guy  will do a study on how to short stocks of companies based on ‘public displays of charity donations’ by executives…

But back to the Season and particularly to the birthday party. I must admit to having been conned by my wife into going in the first place as she presented it as an innocuous buffet thing I could escape from as needed.

The con was on when I got a call from the hostess talking about seating arrangements. Piqued at having been had, I rudely answered that if seating there really was, I didn’t care who as long as they had big breasts and were female (not a given lately).

As our hostess Sheena is not only stunning beautiful as only Indians can be, but also with a great sense of humour (not given either), she actually duly obliged. And whilst letting me know that my request had excluded her from the running she also duly ensured that both my dinner companions well aware of it.

After my initial well deserved embarassement passed, I probably had one the most fun dinners in some time. Nina and Patsy provided endless wit and fun, as well as continuous leg-pulling to the merriment of Jules, an unusual Frenchman, inasmuch for his delight at living in London as for his active contribution to the smutty conversation (definitely not a given).

So much fun was had by all that I managed not to get too distracted by their other obvious ‘talents’ partially on display, as Nina’s spent their evening mostly zipped up.

There is another study needing to be carried out here, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the results were clearly to demonstrate that perhaps blondes HAVE more fun, but it is definitely not blondes that ARE more fun…

And to think I might have just been a bum on a seat on a charity party’s faltering ship instead. I would rather pay but stay away, which is what I mostly do anyway.



 

FOLLOW US ON